Why I Won’t Bad Mouth Rescues, Even if I Don’t Like Their Adoption Policies
When I was turned down for a rescue dog 4 years I was pissed, and like I often do I had a little hissy fit and decided to tell a few people about it.
That one little hissy fit I had in front of 3 people was brought up again 4 years later, and this time it was being referenced by 10 more people in regards to the problem with those “crazy animal rescue groups.”
My Little Tyrade About Animal Rescue
I remember my original complaint well, and how validated I felt when someone said “awww, that’s ridiculous that you would be turned down for a dog.” Sympathy feels nice when you feel you’ve been wronged, and this was no exception.
And looking back it wasn’t even their adoption policy that really bothered me; it was the fact that I didn’t know about it until after I’d already found myself attached to a certain dog.
It was just a quick Monday morning conversation with 3 coworkers, a quick little tyrade about how upset I was at the rescue group and their ridiculous adoption policies. My adoption application was rejected because I worked full time.
I was pissed for that day for sure, but it didn’t last long. Right after work I went to my local animal shelter & took Laika home, so all my focus shifted from “eff animal rescue” to “OMD puppy!”
Fast Forward 4 Years Later
I was being summoned into the break room by a coworker though it wasn’t my break time yet. “Oh, maybe there’s cake!” was my first thought.
Well, it wasn’t cake.
10 of my coworkers were in the middle of discussing where one of them should go to get a puppy, and I was being brought in so I could tell them my personal horror story.
I’m not good on the spot, so I fumbled a little and said something like “well, it was only one rescue group I dealt with, they’re not all are like that.” I was trying my hardest to back petal & make clear that my story was a rarity, and that most adoptions go smoothly.
“Animal rescue groups are great, and they’re not all that strict. There’s a ton of rescue groups around here, half of which don’t even do home checks. And there’s one here in town that always has puppies, they get in a litter or 2 each week from rural shelters down south.”
I could tell they weren’t convinced. Turns out I’m not the only one who had a horror story about dealing with all those “crazy dog people” in rescue.
Sally’s cousin Jim got denied because he didn’t have a fence, Sue’s mom & dad were told they’d have to wait a week to pick up their new dog, and Michelle’s neighbor said one animal rescue wanted $400 for a 5 year old dog.
I was losing the battle. I was trying to tell them about all the awesome rescue groups I’d met over the past few years, but they were stuck focusing on the negative.
“Well, you could go to the county shelter like I did,” I said.
Words Matter
My coworker ended up getting a puppy alright, she ended up buying him online.
I don’t know if she would have chosen any differently if it weren’t for my horror story or any of the others, but they did make a difference. They helped taint the reputation of animal rescue groups in general, and that’s something that’s bothered me since.
I told my “horror story” because I was hurt & upset and wanted a little sympathy. I certainly didn’t mean to add to the negative opinions people have of rescue groups, but that’s exactly what I did.
I don’t know if anything I said impacted my coworkers decision to buy a puppy online (something tells me she was going to do that anyway), or if they’ll matter in the future, but they mattered that day.
They mattered that day in that conversation, and they’ll matter any other time they get referenced again. Another “bad rescue story” people can add to the mix.
60% of Americans believe that shelter pets are poorly behaved, malnourished & unhealthy, and 33% think they’re less desirable than pets from a breeder. Statistics via Best Friends Animal Society
Perhaps We Generalize Too Much
Over the past few years I’ve met so many amazing people who’ve dedicated their lives to rescuing animals. They’re some of the most compassionate & tireless workers I’ve met.
And the more people I met in rescue the more I realized how different they all are. They all have different adoption policies; some are pretty strict, and some are as easy as filling out an application.
Just because rescue A doesn’t adopt to people who don’t have a fence doesn’t mean that’s the same for rescue B.
Do I always agree with their adoption policies? No, but that doesn’t mean I have to complain to my coworkers about it or post it online.
Some think there’s nothing wrong with stating your opinion at any given time, but I like to think twice before I state mine.
Is this going to cause more harm than good? Will this information benefit anyone?
In my case I wish I would have just kept my mouth shut. I forgot that not everyone is familiar with animal rescue, and not everyone has been to their local shelter.
We tend to generalize, especially about subjects we’re not familiar with. That one little story I told might be the only “insight” someone has into the world of rescue, and I didn’t mean for it to become a negative one. And that little story is not indicative of my interactions with rescue groups, it’s just one little hiccup.
It’s not just my story that’s adding to the negativity, either. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen negative comments about animal rescues in facebook groups or in blog comments.
But you know what? Those animal rescues are the ones out there actually saving animals, not debating about it on facebook.
They’re out there fighting the stigma that their animals are “damaged goods,” and they’re the ones out there making the heart breaking decisions of which animals to save and which ones to leave behind.
The survey of 1,000 people nationwide also showed misconceptions among young adults about rescue pets: Nearly 40 percent of the respondents didn’t believe shelter animals faced the risk of euthanasia. And 46 percent saw shelter animals as second-rate pets compared to a cat or dog from a breeder. – Survey Finds Young Adults Overlook Shelter Pets: Petsmart Charities
They don’t need more negativity. I know it’s easy to complain when we feel we’ve been wronged, and that it’s even easier to do it online. But before I say another bad word about rescue I remind myself that they’re the ones that are out there saving animals in need, not me.
If someone wants to know about the animal rescue groups in my area I’ll gladly share what I know. I’ll encourage others to do their research on rescue groups & shelters before making a decision, just as I would with a breeder.
I’ll tell them which groups offer foster to adopt programs, and which ones have puppies. I’d much rather help people make a wise decision when it comes to rescue rather than scare them away.
Rescue A might not adopt to people who work full time, but I know 15 others who will.
The Real Problem With Animal Rescue
The real problem with animal rescue isn’t that they each have individual policies, it’s that there’s so many homeless animals to begin with.
People selling dogs on craigslist, puppy mills, all those websites where you can buy puppies & have them shipped the same day – those are the problem. They don’t care where their dogs end up, and they don’t screen their buyers. If you’ve got the money the pup is yours.
And that convenience compounds the problem; it makes lengthy adoption applications & home checks look like a pain.
But do you know what those home checks & application processes provide? A chance for you to make sure you’re making the right decision. A dog is a 10-15 year commitment, it’s not something that should be taken lightly.
And with the millions of homeless animals in shelters I think we’ve proven that as a whole we’re far from being responsible pet owners.
Why I Won’t Bad Mouth Rescues
So rather than bad mouth rescues I’m going to keep on encouraging people to consider adoption. Most people looking for a dog want a loyal companion, and there’s plenty of awesome ones available through rescue.
So I’m going to keep on sharing those inspirational adoption stories, and I’m going to keep on encouraging people to check out their local rescue groups. I want to encourage people to make informed decisions about adding another pet to the family, not impulsive ones.
So that’s why I won’t bad mouth rescues, even if I don’t like their adoption policies. I’m going to quit adding to the stigma behind the movement I love so dearly.
They’re the ones out their saving animals, not me.
a lot of rescues have run into the negative side of their perfectly valid policies and have found that people are turning to pet stores and ‘online breeders’ (aka puppy mills) because of them. A good number of them have changed their adoption policies and instead of turning you down they will work with you and talk to you about the importance of having a fenced in yard, or regular vet care, etc.
The shelter I volunteer for used to have a two page adoption contract and while they said they would reserve the right to do a home visit, they never ever did. Backlash over how difficult it was to obtain a pet changed that contract down to half a page of your information and half a page of the shelter information. The first time I saw it I freaked out – because as a foster home for kittens, I liked the idea of people having to jump through hoops to get a kitten. If they weren’t willing to put out a little in the beginning, would they really be willing to care for a pet for the life time? It is the same concern I (and many others) have with free adoptions. Owning a pet is a financial consideration and if people can’t afford an adoption fee, how can they care for a pet. But the long term results of fewer restrictions and lower fees has only been positive. My local shelter went from killing more than half of the cats that walked through the door to being able to call itself a no-kill shelter in 10 years.
Shelters and rescues have changed. Not all of them, some of them want to micromanage every detail of the animals in their care, and that is how they can do what they do, doing their best to ensure the animal is going to have the absolute best. But a good majority of them have changed.
and yes, I doubt your co-worker would have gotten from a rescue. People who want what they want when they want it are rarely unwilling to wait for a responsible breeder to produce the type of animal they want or for one to show up in a shelter. I think of it as the walmartization of pet ownership.. they think that at any time a particular breed of puppy should be available to them to just walk up and buy… and sadly they do just that.. keeping the puppy mills in business. I had a family member do it, and I had a co-worker do it and neither one of them had a very good experience as both dogs had issues. (which is what happens when they are bred for consumption and not for health)
It is such a fine line to walk when discussing the policies of rescues & shelters, because in the end a lot of people think it’s too hard to adopt. But when you’re on the other side, as in your case, you see first hand how many animals are surrendered to begin with, so of course you want to ensure that people are committed before hand.
And speaking of the walmartization of pet ownership when I used to volunteer at my local shelter it was surprising to me how many people got really upset when they couldn’t take their animal home that same day (they had to be spayed/neutered first). I understand that people want their new pet immediately, but in the long run a couple of days is nothing compared to the life time commitment of pet ownership.
It’s hard to not say something when you’ve gotten your feelings hurt or feel like you’ve been wronged by a facility. I don’t blame you for venting to your coworker and honestly it happens. It’s definitely not your fault the people went out and bought a dog online. There are some rescues out there with ridiculous adoption policies. I don’t get it. I had a bad experience before we found Zoe at the local humane society and I was denied an adoption because we didn’t have a fenced yard. Even though I had glowing references they wouldn’t make an exception and it was truly BS. Did it sour me on rescues? Yep. Luckily our local humane society isn’t that ridiculous and they worked with me and I got both of my dogs from them.
It is unfortunate that some rescues turn away great potential adopters for reasons that seem silly, but it is important to remember that there are tons of rescues who are very accommodating. I always try to mention if a dog I’m featuring was a rescue to help spread the word that rescue animals make great companions.
And your site illustrates perfectly how awesome rescue dogs are will all of those beautiful photos. People that aren’t involved in rescue often see those ASPCA commercials & assume most dogs in shelters are sick & scared; so being able to see them as happy, adopted dogs helps shine a more positive light on them. (in my opinion at least)
Thanks Jen, that’s my goal! 🙂
i started filling out a form to apply to adopt an 8 year old Pom but the questions just went on and on. The one about not having a fenced yard was a game stopper. It would cost thousands to have someone come in and fence my entire yard. I live in the country and the only people who have fences have horses, cattle,sheep or goats. I have a metal cork screw thing and a plastic covered metal tie out to keep a dog from leaving my yard and I see no problem with that. I would not leave a dog out tied to a dog house. You could fence off a smaller area but they ask if your entire yard is fenced.
Excellent. I had one fabulous rescue experience and another that was troubling (and sadly I had to return the dog as it was aggressive toward my “pre-existing” dog). I’ve also heard hair raising horse rescue stories. I don’t say much because I think overall, the rescues do immeasurable good.
Exactly, in my case I’ve been increasingly more uncomfortable with seeing negative comments aimed at rescues, because the last thing I want to happen is for the whole movement to be seen in a negative light.
Great post! I won’t bad mouth rescues, because I have friends who work in rescue. I’ve seen the ugly side and the ugly people, but anything I do to shine a light on them also shines negativity on people I love who are doing amazing work.
It was a tough lesson to learn, because I believe some people shouldn’t be allowed to work in rescue; but every group/industry is going to have bad apples. And, to be honest, I know that if I worked in rescue, I’d probably be a maniacal, controlling, she-devil after seeing how people treat dogs.
I’m scared to know how over protective I would become if I were involved in rescue.
I understand that rescue places want to make sure of the adopted pet’s welfare however I opted out and got my Yorkies from a home in a near by town, just because I wasn’t ready to have someone show up at my house without any notice to see how I treat my dog.
I was turned down for a puppy for the same reason you were, and it’s horribly disappointing. BUT if I’d gotten that puppy, I wouldn’t have gotten Sampson and he changed my life.
There are lots of good rescues out there and I think you are wise to promote them and just keep mum on the bad ones.
It’s funny how things work out the way they do 🙂
Rescues shouldn’t get a pass just because they say that they are “rescues”. They should all be scrutinized by anyone thinking about adopting one of their dogs. There is a lot of shady stuff going on with a lot of them. Rescues that are just fronts for hoarders; Bidding against each other to buy puppy mill dogs for thousands of dollars; packing dogs into trailers like sardines for the magical adoption land “north” without the correct paperwork or shots or supply demand; bringing in more dogs from outside the continental U.S.; lying or losing the history on aggressive dogs that should just be put down; the list of bad ideas just goes on and on. A lot of them are just dog brokers moving the supply to the demand or worse lack of demand. A lot of the time it looks like a lot of emotion and good intent getting murdered by a complete lack of planning or thought.
I did and still do find the “rescue” process ridiculous and exclusionary. My last adoption was 16 years ago at a shelter and I don’t remember a fraction of the hassle of what it takes today. I tried to rescue from several about 4 years ago when my boston terrier was around 10 years old, no luck, just a bunch of 5pg. applications and then “Oh Jasper, Tater Tot, Bella, etc” found their foreverhome but take a look at these dogs that don’t match anything that your profile said you were looking for. My Boston has since passed away, so I started the search again, after almost a year of wasting time with “rescue” shelters I am finally picking up my new family member on Monday, I’ll have to drive from the DC area to Pennsyvania because thats were the breeders farm is located. Oh well, I tried! And yes, I have a fenced yard, own my home outright, retired from military (so home most of the day and able to take dog on errands with me), have plenty of cash, gave current references from friends, neighbors, and veterinarians. Folks this (current adoption process) is a part of virtual signaling culture and I refuse to play along. Once my new furry friend is settled in, I’ll get him a little sister within a year, and she WILL NOT come from a so called “rescue” all animals brought into a loving home have been rescued as far as I’m concerned.
I come from the administrative side of rescue, and a lot of what I’m about to write isn’t going to give rescues a hero’s pass.
My agency had some policies that were rigid while others were flexible. For example, we don’t allow pet doors to be used while a human is away. We do allow homes without fences. We don’t allow electronic collars. We do allow swimming pools (with criteria.) We have an age policy for children. Sometimes that one flexes and sometimes it doesn’t. Policies can be developed based on breed or size or any number of things. Policies are generally there because of safety and the agency’s stance on what is safe and what isn’t. So, I get most policies. I don’t get it when an agency doesn’t try to get to know the applicant to try and determine if this particular applicant can get a pass.
I will speak up about a rescue agency’s poor vetting. I will speak up about poor placement. For adopting out dangerous dogs instead of having the guts to behaviorally euthanize the dog themselves. For failure to help a family deal with a behavioral or health problem that develops after adoption.
A rescue’s job isn’t saving lives. It’s providing the best possible to the dog they rescued. It is a commitment to the family that is applying to adopt a dog. It is a respect for the community where that dog is going to reside.
Yes and no. In the wake of George Floyd, I think we need to call out the white supremacist behavior of some rescues. For example, many won’t adopt out to renters, people who have small homes, or do not have yards, some have children. A lot of people of color in cities would not be considered eligible due to those restrictions. Should they not be allowed to adopt?
I understand how hard the job is of rescues, but in the puppy pandemic literally everyone I know (myself included) who live in a low-income part of west coast city was turned down by rescues, so we got our puppies from breeders. We are great puppy parents and are obsessed with them. It’s a shame that these rescues can’t see or understand that from our applications.
Fast forward to 2021 with this pandemic, I know a few people trying to adopt and its a nightmare, so YES by all means bad mouth adoption agencies, the amount of intrusive questions that they ask is getting ridiculous.
And people wonder why the shelters are overloaded and pupply mills are still in business… It’s because everyone is sick and tired of the BS from shelters /rescues.
I will bad mouth shelters. Our old dog was coming to the end of his life and we wanted a new one before he passed so that he would know his boys would be protected. I applied to a local shelter and was denied. Then I applied to another shelter and denied. The irony was that my husband has degrees in animal science and has worked in his field for 25 years. I’m a stay at home mom. And we own our home. In the process I found another local rescue who had a “pack of feral dogs” they refused to adopt out…but requested donations for their care. Their living conditions were not good. So at that point after being denied, losing a dog and being denied again I chose to shop and purchased 2 AKC dogs. My children had experienced enough disappointment.