Why I Can’t Judge Everyone Whose Surrendered a Pet
I don’t judge everyone that’s surrendered a pet – I’ve done it too.
Now I bet that changed your opinion of me at least a little, and what sort of pet owner I could possibly be. But please read on before you judge.
The Conversations We Have About Surrendering a Pet
I don’t know what’s going on lately but there’s been a huge amount of discussions going around about owners surrendering their pets. You know the ones where we hear that he ‘surrendered his dog because of allergies.’ And yes, my first gut reaction is so say to myself ‘I would never do that’ or ‘that’s horrible,’ but then I think back to the day I was faced with that dilemma myself.
All of the conversations I’ve seen tend to be with a bunch of people that are into animal advocacy, and they generally end up with 99% of people coming to the conclusion that surrendering a pet = evil person.
And while I hate hearing a lot of the excuses that people use for surrendering their pet I have been on the other side. I’m not willing to automatically equate every owner who surrenders a pet as being pure evil.
I had to surrender my own dog years ago, and it’s something that haunts me to this day. But when it comes to the conversations we have about surrendering a pet it’s people like me that keep quiet. We don’t share our own stories, but maybe we should.
Working with rescues & shelters I’ve seen both sides of the issue. I’ve seen owners surrendering their dogs for ridiculous reasons such as “he chewed up my curtains,” but I’ve also seen those on the other side. The owners who are desperate for help, the ones who reach out for assistance, and the ones who are are willing to try anything in their power to keep their pets.
And yes, I hear way more stories about about owners surrendering dogs for seemingly silly reasons rather than those desperate for help. We all do. And I believe that’s precisely why we often think ‘what a terrible human being’ as soon as the word surrender is mentioned.
But then there’s people like me, one of those ‘evil people’ whose still haunted by the memory of having to surrender my dog.
The Time I Had to Surrender My Own Dog
When I was 12 we lost our home in a fire. At the time I lived with my mother and our dog Joey. It wasn’t a simple ‘the garage burnt down’ type of fire, it was a ‘your house is totaled’ fire. It happened in the middle of the night, and the fear of being trapped inside a burning building is a sensation I’ve never forgotten. Luckily we were all able to escape through a window.
The only positive to come out the whole situation was that the local paper called me a hero for getting us all out in time. So at least that meant I didn’t have to explain to everyone at school why I’d be wearing ill fitting sweat suits for the next 6 months.
I was 12 so many of the details regarding insurance and the like were completely foreign to me. What I do know, and remember quite vividly, is that and all of a sudden my mother and I, along with our dog Joey no longer had a place to call home.
So there we were, my mother and me, and our little Lab mix Joey. No home, no money, and no idea what to do. My mom had to keep her job, and I had to keep going to school. We didn’t have a place to keep him during the day, and we didn’t have anyone willing to take care of him. So the decision was made to surrender him.
I’d be lying if I said this doesn’t tear me up to this day, knowing that we had to “get rid of” our beloved dog. It does, and I’m sure it always will. But unfortunately sometimes shit happens and there isn’t an easy way out.
Not everyone has the money to just go out and buy a new house. And not everyone has friends of family that are willing to take you and your pet in for x amount of time. Not everyone has money to pay for boarding. Not everyone has the ability to wait around trying to find a place that’s both affordable and willing to accept a large dog.
Now Joey was about a year old when this happened, and he was such a happy go lucky sort of dog. In my heart I knew that the right family would come along & love him as much as we had – but that didn’t make it easier. It was a small comfort to the trauma of losing both your home & dog in the same week.
We ended up taking Joey to the Michigan Humane Society under the promise that we would have to find a plan B if he didn’t end up getting adopted. But much to my relief (and sadness realizing that he was really gone) he was adopted 2 days later.
I don’t have any photos of Joey, because unfortunately we we lost them along with everything else we had in the fire. He was the sweetest black Lab mix with the cutest little white paws and the goofiest smile.
Why I Can’t Judge Everyone That Surrenders a Pet
Sometimes people end up with a dog with serious behavioral problems. Sometimes horrible things happen beyond your control, and being able to take care of yourself and your pets may no longer be feasible.
So while I understand the negative reactions to a lot of the silly reasons people surrender their pets I’m cautious to lump everyone whose done so together.
This is why you’ll never see my say things like “anyone who surrenders a pet is heartless.” I’ve been there, I’ve done it, and it’s not something I take lightly.
Now don’t get me wrong – things like “my dog chewed up my door so I’m getting rid of him” or “we’re surrendering our old dog because we got a puppy” happen, and those really piss me off. But I also know that for every 10 horrible stories we hear about animal surrender there are those like mine, of those who are forced into a shitty situation rather than choosing it.
But we don’t hear about those stories, those aren’t the ones getting shared like crazy, we just hear about the bad ones.
So when I see all these conversations about surrendering a pet I tend to read and just keep my mouth shut, but I can’t help and wonder if there’s others out there like me who find the comment “everyone who surrenders a pet is evil” a bit hurtful. If so this is for you – I want you to know I don’t think you’re evil. I’ve been in the situation of having to make that heart breaking decision, and it’s not something I’d wish on anyone else.
I understand that surrendering a pet is a touchy subject, and I understand that the overpopulation of shelters is horrible. But I also understand that there’s some people out there that have had to surrender a pet for serious reasons.
So while I hate hearing about dogs being surrendered as much as anyone else I can’t just automatically judge them. A few of them are probably just like me. People who would have never considered doing such a thing unless something beyond their control happened, or something they truly can’t fix.
I still have nightmares about that fire, and I still wake up with tears in my eyes as I think about my dear little Joey. It’s not something I want to relive, but certain events don’t just go away, no matter how much we wish they would.
And I’d be lying if I said I’m not hurt a little every time I see the comments “I’d never surrender my dog” or “those people are heartless.” I understand where those comments are coming from, but please remember that there are valid reasons for surrendering a pet.
The fact that I’m one of those “heartless people” who surrendered a pet bothers me. But the comments themselves aren’t what really hurts, it’s the memories of losing Joey is what really breaks my heart. I think about Joey often, and I can only hope that he ended up in a home that loved him as much as we did.
Such a traumatic experience; sorry you had to go through that. There are times when being surrender or rehoming is the best thing for the dog. And there are times when it’s the only thing one can do. <3
I am having an experience with a cat that was roaming around the house a couple of months ago. After about a month, the cat was letting us touch her and was sitting at my front door on the cold night. I made her an outdoor shelter and i decided to feed her. I began to feel responsible for her, I listed her as found on facebook, nextdoor ,and pawboost. No one claimed her. I had taken her to the shelter to have her checked for a chip. There was no chip so i brought her back home. I took her to the vet, bought a health plan, got all shots and tests. She was FIV+, but that made no difference to me, I got everything, even though I had to charge it. A litter box, a house, food. She only pooped once in the box in over a month, so I would let her go out for her business but then my neighbors angrily complained! And, all the while our landlord would not allow pets! So it became very stressful and I brought kitty back to the shelter thinking it would be best for her and if I could find a pet friendly rental, I could readopt her. Well, I am realizing now that this is frowned upon at the shelter!!! I have even read that the surrender means you no longer have any rights to even visit the animal. I had no idea that simething I thought was a good responsible thing would be considered so bad! So, I continue to look for anyone who may have lost her, and refer them to the shelter. So far I dont know really what her status was when I found her, lost, TNR(she was already spayed when I found her), stray??? Even so, the shelter called me an owner surrender.
Sorry so long, any thoughts about this would help, but go easy on me, I only had the best intentions for kitty, the shelter, and me.
Im sure you only wanted what’s best for her.
I had to give up my 3 months old cat to the vet i took him. He had rectal prolapse twice already and i had him stitched up for that. But the second time it happened it was okay for a few days then other complications happened. He wasnt pooping right he kept straining and because he kept doing that he bled on the third day. I then brought him to the vet but all the options they gave me were out of my reach. I then decided to surrender him to the vets which one of them agreed upon adopting him. I just hope he adjusts to them quickly even though its hard because i just visited him a while ago as im writing this and he wouldnt eat. His right arm was swollen from the iv because he kept his arm folded when he sleeps. Its still so heart breaking. I still do wanna care for him and i want to take him back but then i realized if i took him home and it happens again i wouldnt be able to help him because i dont know what to do. At least now that hes with the vets they can administer first aid whenever he needs it. Sorry this is a long comment i just needed to share my experience. It hurts so bad and i dont know if i did the right choice but i just want him to live and i know that they could help him compared to me.
Fantastic article! I completely agree, and have rehomed two dogs for serious dog aggression. The crate and rotate lifestyle is not for me, and my top priority is keeping my dogs safe. I don’t judge.
I agree, this is a great article. I am currently grappling with the very real possibility of surrendering my dog because of serious and escalating behavior issues. It is killing me to even be considering surrender as a possibility, but I also want what is best for my dog. Thanks for the article. It has helped me begin to come to terms with this devastating decision.
Did you end up surreding your dog? I’m going through the same thing right now. My heart is broken
I just went through the same thing with having to surrender my pup. Due to personal health issues as well as the dogs behavior we had to come to the hard decision that surrendering him would be the best choice for all of us. He is still young so I know someone will fall in love with him and give him a better life than I could
It’s sad, but my dog knew I was suggesting surrending her. I told my mom “get the money back for that training and let’s surrender her” she looked so sad. But last night she ate all the car food, all the cat litter, pooped and peed on the floor, and threw trash everywhere. She’s considered obese and I took the challenge to help her loose weight but I give up. I’m gonna go get a different dog. I’ve tried baby gates, but she just knocks them down. She ate about 3 pounds of cat food and previously had diarrhea so she made it worse. I’m not feeding her at all today now because she ate like 3+ pounds of cat food. She’s going to wind up dead and it’s not going to be my fault. She’s also aggressive twords people. I need a dog that’s going to be fine around people and other dogs she is just not that and I am just so mad to the point where I’m not even going to look at her because I’ve been through this shit 5+ times. She has already needed 1000+ dollars in vet visits because she ate litter, trash, and even ate glass.
This isn’t the site for you, when we say “heartless people” you’re borderline it, seems like you’re on this site to make you feel better about surrendering your dog and having anger towards it but realistically if you’re this mad at your dog to where you don’t even wanna look at her- you just want her to disappear then you don’t need ANOTHER dog because all dogs are reckless to some degree especially when you leave cat food, liter, etc out KNOWING your dogs instincts, smh, The right thing to do would be to consider crate training or talking to a vet for solutions, none of which you mentioned are behaviors that can’t be easily fixed, your dogs not a danger to anyone or any other animal, I pray your puppy finds the family it truly deserves
I’m in a very similar situation. Surrendering is probably the best option, as sad as it is. Try to find a dog trainer, do online research, and try everything before surrendering. Good luck, I hope your dog stops eating weird stuff.
I contacted my breeder today to surrender. I was made redundant no notice and can’t keep him. He is under 3 months old we had him for two weeks. I love him and my heart breaks but I know that my puppy will be happier with a richer couple, I can’t believe this happened. I don’t think I can get over the shame I feel. I should have never got him I’m broken.
We have recently had to surrender our puppy too. serious aggression issues towards me and my cats.( my arms and hands so badly bruised and sore from his bites. And terrorizing my cats. We tried so much training. Puppy was fixed and he had his shots. My husband had a little better luck. But not much. I too no longer judge those who surrender their pets. Its an absolutely awful emotional thing to go thru.( the guilt has been overwhelming ) For both Animal and human. Prayers to us all. We still love animals. Please dont judge.
No judgement here. I adopted a dog that seemed fine, but Not so. He has several anxiety which causes him to attack certain other dogs. I have received no support from the shelter or my friend who initially fostered him. They criticized me so harshly. I tried separating my dogs (difficult), training and medication. I offered to foster him until they found a better place but my other dog is a trigger for him. So I after to return him sooner than I hoped.
I posted above yours, pretty much going thru the same thing with us too. There is very limited support out there for our situations. Shelters take them in- but if full- no go. Our cats we his trigger. And they hid 24/7. Our puppy also seemed to think my arms and hands were his chews toys. I tried to keep my arms from his reach. No good. We have 3 grandchildren and he would nip at them and at strangers. He could be a good dog- but needed an older family with a bigger dog. Thats tough. I so feel awful for all of you and our situations. Much prayers. No judging here. Fyi. We need a support group!!
I am so sorry that you had to go through such a horrific time when you were young. We should never judge others as everyone fights their own demons. People that surrender their pets because of catastrophic events don’t need additional scorn. Of course, those that give their dogs up because they are old or they want a new puppy make me want to punch something. Forgive yourself. It’s past time. ♥
I’m going through something very similar with my dog right now. I love her so much, and I have tried everything. But her separation anxiety is causing her to tear up the house. And God forbid if something awful happens to her we can’t afford to take her to the vet. It absolutely breaks my heart to even consider giving her up, but I want her to be somewhere with people who can keep an eye on her and people who love her. I want her to be somewhere that she can be well taken care of. Because that is what she deserves.
I never wanted to be one of those people that gave up a dog, and I feel so guilty for even talking about it. Even thinking about it. This article really helped me. Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for everyone in the comments who shared their stories. I have a lot to think about. Thank you for making this a safe space that will help me make such a hard decision.
Sorry about your situation, however, I would live on the street just to keep my dogs. There are so many great people out there who probably could have helped you in one way or another in order to keep your dog. I consider my dogs to be part of my family and just like I would never give a child up for adoption, I would beg for anything just to keep them. Not to mention that if it was a kill shelter by putting a cute puppy in a kill shelter you are maybe stopping someone from looking at the dogs that are already there and may be on death row. I really wish that we could stop kill shelters and we can but until then. Dogs are such wonderful creatures and I truly believe that in addition to losing your home your dog would have probably helped to get you through many lonely and sad moments. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog and I am truly sorry that you had to experience such terrible things when you were so young and I don’t think you or your family are evil. I just have a different perspective.
I agree that there are some people out there who may have been willing to help, but at the time we couldn’t find any. This was before social media and the ability to quickly reach out to your own community. It was just the two of us (my mother and I), with me going to school & my mother working full time we didn’t have anywhere to leave our dog during the day because we had no home, nor did we have anyone willing to watch him. I wish we would have, but we didn’t. It was a terrible situation that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I consider my dogs part of the family as well, and it was utterly heartbreaking to have to give him up, which is why I find some of the comments regarding animal surrender so hurtful.
And this was in the 90’s, before fundraising and networking online was an option. Perhaps things would have been different if we could have depended on that sort of generosity to help us out. As it was we couldn’t find help from friends or family, but it was not for a lack of trying.
I am so sorry?for you and the dog you obviously loved very much.
You are heartless
YOU, have no idea what you would really do – if the same happen to You. You may think , You would do this OR THAT but until you actually walk in another’s shoes Maybe you should not be so strong in your opinion MY god – They lost EVERYTHING and then some Her mom, was trying the best she could
I’m sorry that you had that experience, I can only imagine how difficult it was for you and your mom. For what it is worth, I think your mom (and you) made the decision that was best for Joey. I think a lot of people don’t realize how hard life can be when you go through something like losing a home or a job. It doesn’t sound like you had a better option, and I’m betting Joey found a loving home.
I will never know why Theo was surrendered to a shelter, but I am sure that he was LOVED. I can’t and won’t judge the woman who had him first because I know that it couldn’t have been an easy decision for her. As much as I love having Theo in our family, I wish that there were more organizations helping people keep their pets.
I always feel a little heartbreak when I read about an old dog who is brought into a shelter because the family can’t afford medical treatment. Many times the dogs receive the medical care and are adopted by a new family. Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled that the dog has a family, I just wish there was more help available for the family that loved the dog first.
Thank you so much. It’s hard not to judge when we love our pets so much. Many of us can’t even conceive of the possibility of having to surrender a pet, and the thought of something happening beyond our control isn’t something you’re necessarily prepared for.
I can’t help but wonder why Laika was surrendered either, though I don’t harbor any ill feelings towards the person who gave her up because luckily she ended up in a forever home. And I agree with you completely that I wish there were more places out there dedicated to helping people keep their pets. There’s a local organization here in Detroit called U.N.C.H.A.I.N.E.D. Inc and they provide families with fenced in pens, veterinary care, etc.. Whatever it takes to help people going through a tough time or facing financial hardship to be able to keep their beloved pets. It’s amazing work they do, and a true inspiration for showing how lending a helping hand can make such a big difference.
You seem to have much more common sense than a lot of these crazy dog people. I’m amazed at some of the responses they give when they find out that someone had to give up their dog. They tell people to “suck it up and take medication” if a dog is given up due to allergies. As if someone is a bad person simple because they don’t want to take medication just to keep a dog. Then there are the ones who say “find another place to live” if the person is moving somewhere and can’t take their dog. They don’t know what all options that person has already explored. Thank you for providing a voice of sanity.
I have two rescue terriers, one adopted 2012; the other one adopted 2016. I had to surrender the younger one yesterday due to fights escalating between them to a point where the older dog and I are getting injured. As one of the people that couldn’t conceive of surrendering a pet, I’m beyond heartbroken. But at the end of the day when I look at both dogs, I know it’s my responsibility to keep them safe no matter what. I don’t know what abuse was in their pasts, but I can help ensure that their futures are filled with love and the right homes for each of them. To anyone else going through a similar situation, my heart goes out to you. It is painful. Hang in there and know that you did the right thing.
We’re going through this now. I lost my job and we’re in dire financial need. We have ten dogs and a cat, all of which we love dearly. We just can’t afford them any more. The process has already been painful and we haven’t even surrendered anyone yet. I don’t know what we’ll do…
I feel better reading stories like this. Partially because I might have to give up my beloved dog who I’ve had for 5 years as I’m moving in with my partner and the area is strict with pets. I’m worried because I feel like no one else can handle my dog as she suffers separation anxiety. I always get complaints from my family when I’m away from work because she always barks and it stresses me out.
I have my level of tolerance to rehoming pets – I understand if an animal’s behaviour turns violent with a new change (like a baby), moving in a place that pets aren’t allowed (with things like this, it doesn’t surprise me why Brisbane has of the highest number of foster pets), unable to afford it (I’m sure I could be homeless with my dog – but that’s honestly selfish towards the dog in my opinion and what about certain medications or vet bills that can’t be afforded?)or unable to provide it with a home like in your case.
I will find it selfish of people who torture their animals, leave them alone for hours of the day, dump their old dog for a puppy or someone who’s given up multiple pets (I know someone who has done this, she still has two cats but right now they’re only 2 years old. Only time will tell to see if they suffer the same fate).
I sometimes felt horrible that I have to rehome my lovely dog. When I come home, she’s relieved to see me and then sleeps by my side after a play session. She’s like my shadow, so it tears me apart because I feel like a letting her down.
My ex literally abandoned a dog with me. When I told him I could not keep it his response was “Its your problem now.”I tried to keep it, and it was such a great dog if my two girls didnt live with me. He showed aggression with my kiddos and it was not an easy decision to give him up. I cried, threw up and cried some more all while at the humane society.
I am angry at myself…and furious with my ex for dumping the dog on me knowing I would have to be the bad guy.
Rachel, oh my gosh I feel so bad that happened to you!! Honey, I’m hoping you’re coping & now that it’s several months later but you thought about the options & I don’t think you would’ve surrendered the dog if you felt there was another choice. Why your ex got a dog in the first place is a frustrating question but PLEASE don’t beat yourself up about it. You know you’re a good person & it is genuinely not possible for everyone to accommodate for a dog with issues, and this is coming from someone who is a dog person 100%. Take care.
Thank you for this article. I was faced with homelessness a few months ago, knowing that my lease was going to be up and I’d have to find a new place to live o started searching months ahead of time to try and find a home that would allow both my dog and my cat. The problem is I live in Summit County Co. One of the most expensive places to live and the least pet friendly. I finally found a place but I could only bring one of my pets, and I was out of time to find a different place. I work for a non profit and don’t make a ton so it was this apartment or homelessness. I tried to ask family to take her just for the year, asked coworkers and friends, no one could take her. I waited until the very last day to bring her in. I’m still heartbroken that my Meredith is living in a shelter while I’m comfortable living here with my dog. It’s not an easy or light decision to make.
Thank you for sharing this. I recently had to surrender my dog due to personal issues as well as behavior issues with the dog. I know I will be judged for my decision but it was the best choice for my family. My dog was also a black lab mix with white feet. I know someone will fall in love with him because he is so cute and they will give him the life he deserves.
I feel like more people should share stories like this. I was never one to judge people who had to rehome or surrender their pet but I also was never in a position to have to make that choice for myself. Now we’re faced with the decision of having to rehome our 1yo SBD and it’s not at all behavioral problems. She’s gotta be one of the sweetest, biggest, goof balls ever!! We’re moving for the military and she’s already over the weight requirement for pets for the housing we’re assigned to. I honestly want to sneak her in and just see how long we can last but she’s already killed all the grass where we live now just walking and running and laying in it( we own this home). We’ll never be able to hide the fact that she was here if we can’t keep grass growing… we’re in the process of asking around now and also looking at how we regrow and maintain a lawn and also keep the floors clean and maybe we can find somewhere more affordable as an alternative? Idk. It hurts so much thinking about leaving her behind cause we all love her so much. But as much as I feel like she should be where she’s loved, I feel like she also needs to be safe and comfortable. But I also know that there’s way more people who judge those of us who are faced with this decision, and no, I’m not going to make my family of 5 homeless to keep her, cause as much as she loves being outside she needs a HOME just as much as we do.
People who have to rehome or surrender aren’t just turning their dogs out on the street or abandoning them in the woods, we’re out searching for good people we trust will take good care of our dogs when we are no longer able. We got her from a family who said if anything came up (like this move we weren’t planning) that we could call them and they would take her back cause they didn’t want her to go to a shelter either. But they don’t answer for us anymore and we don’t know where they live…. so now we’re stuck cause no one else seems to want her. They all think we’re lying about how awesome she is and that we just can’t take her. They think she’s gonna act up I guess? Idk but I wish there was an easier, less judgier way to get through this…
I am truly not trying to be annoying, but the title should read “Who’s” instead of “Whose.” I was confused for a fraction of a second when I first came upon your article. You don’t need to publish this comment, lol, but I thought you’d want to know.
I am so glad that I came across your article. I recently had to surrender my black lab that I had for 10 years not to mention I lost her for 3 years because somebody stole her and her puppies out of my yard and then they took her to lab rescue out of spite instead of giving her back. 3 years I went without my dog and I prayed for God to give her back to me and I found her own craigslist! That was 4 years ago. I had to surrender my dog a couple of weeks ago because for the past 7 and a 1/2 months she had been biting me and my family members. My elderly mother lives with us and she lunged at her on the last morning that we had her that morning my husband was loving all over her like he always does before he goes to work and she turned around and just went crazy on full on attack mode! We had found out that she was losing and some of her sight due to cataracts. We were trying to help her adjust to this but we just didn’t know how I went on Facebook asking for help several times over the past 6 months I always got one of the same 2 pieces of advice …. put her down or deal with it! And I couldn’t do either 1 so I was hopeless. I had to have hemroid surgery and that morning that she lunged after my 68 year old mother was the last Id had of it. I called in the humane society to come and pick her up I told them what had been going on I told them how I had been asking for help and I told them how I had literally just come off the operating table 1 hour before they got there. I felt that my dog was miserable because she was either always afraid in trying to attack us or she was always depressed once in a while we would have happy moments with her where she would let us love on her and give her affection so I told them I don’t feel that she would be safe around other people or children or even dogs maybe she just needs to be put out of her misery.
The next thing I know the humane society has a picture of her on Facebook saying she is blind! The dog is not blind. We had her taken to a licensed veterinarian who confirm she had lost almost 30% of her sight but she could still see for the most part. I was called all kinds of names because everybody here in our town knows me. I was called heartless and cruel. The thing with my dog is when she’s around strangers she is as sweet as can be but once she gets to know you she flips out and changes. This article has helped me I hate seeing the comments about how heartless and cruel I am what I hate even more is how the humane society flat out lied about her condition! Thank you for this article she has been rescued and has been taken to a sanctuary farm and I hope it works out for her I just hope that they help her so she doesn’t harm anybody else. People don’t understand it broke my heart to get rid of her but this article has helped me understand that I need to just be Happy that none of us are in harm’s way anymore and she is somewhere where she can get help. I just hate that it took me calling in the shelter and being made out to be a monster to make it happen.
I/ we are a lover of Labs, But as I have recently noted- every ones situation is different and cant judge. I cant imagine a retriever dog being aggressive- but I also thought we would never be those people who surrender a dog. I am so very sorry for what you had to endure- Its the worst. Especially as the outsider support is nill. I wish you only the best. And prayers.
Thank you for sharing this. It is hard to find support online after surrendering a dog. But unfortunately it is easy to find a lot of judgement. My husband and I had to surrender our pup we had had for 5 months due to his behaviours and also personal health issues. We could not give him the stimulation he needed to be happy and his behaviours were escalating due to this. He also seemed to view me as another dog and despite being 10 months old and me trying so many different strategies he continued to mouth at me, causing a lot of my time spent with him to be quite stressful.
I did not think I would ever have to surrender a pet, and I wanted a dog so much, as our first dog had passed away young due to cancer.
What made it worse was the judgement from the rescue, saying we had “dumped” him and just didn’t want him, which is not true at all! I still cry at times thinking about him, and I just want him to be in a home where I know he will be happy and be able to be himself.
Such a great article and I’m glad your dog found a new home. I truly belI’ve that keeping him with no money or home who have been worse for him in the end! I have had several rescues….in fact I prefer them and when I can I stay in touch with the previous owner to update. No you are NOT a bad person and yes shit happens. I’ve also seen how devastating fires are since I’m a career firefighter and am happy to hear your dog made it out as often pets don’t which saddens me. I’m not advocating going back in for your pet but I am a big believer in training and desensitizing them to the sound of the fire alarm so they don’t hide from it! Not fail proof but a start!!
Me and my fiancé adopted a dog two weeks ago to date, he is the sweetest most loving dog I’ve ever seen… but come to find out… he has severe separation anxiety. We work, but he is only left alone for about 3 days max in a week and we have someone who spends time with him during the day when we are working, but his anxiety is so bad he starts to bark and cry for us and our apartment complex will no longer allow us to have our sweet boy. We have tried contacting no kill shelters and someone to re-home him and I can’t get anything. We tried putting him in a behavioral boarding class to help, but it’s was $3000 and wasn’t open until July, our apartment management wouldn’t allow it to be so far out… we are forced to take him back to the shelter we got him from and I pray to god he finds another home. I can barely live with myself, I can’t stop crying. I love him with everything in me and I feel horrible. I’ve never hated myself so much. I hope someone finds him and gives him another chance. Lord knows I’ve done everything to keep him.
Hi I had to surrender my little darling boy as we were in serious financial hardship and the pain just does not seem to go away at all ??it’s like your heart is falling to pieces you can’t eat or sleep ..All you think of is your dog .. We surrendered our baby due to his eye that got an ulcer ..It got worse and I tried everything to not take him in .. But we had no money no food and I can tell you if o had to buy food for me or my pet my pet would come first .. Situations in life happen and to hell with what everyone says and how the judge they don’t no my life my story or my love for my baby boy … He had a lot of health issues that I honestly could not afford ..My husband lost his job I had work casually and it was a struggle and to watch my boy suffer with his eye I thought no way ..I have to do the right thing for him and get him help … Nobody ever thinks that they do it cause they love them .. People are cruel they don’t care sometimes and just leave their animals ..Surrendering due to good reason only is love ?.. But what hurts the most is not wanting to give up my fur baby ,but not having the choice or help to keep him that’s what hurts … Some owners love their animals and shouldn’t have to give yo their fur baby just because they can’t afford the vet .. Yes don’t have animals if You can’t afford them really easy to say .. People will never ever understand the pain it’s excrutiating and the worst feeling to me ..Walking away from a dog you loved cause nobody will help but rescues help they take the dog but it would be better to get more help financially for our fur babies if we had the option .. We lost everything and losing my fur baby I can tell you in all honesty that had been the hardest in my life … I’m in depression crying every day cause I just want him back but that will never be ..As a loving owner to my dog who now will get the help but will have to go to another family cause I can’t afford his vet treatment which is so sad ?…
I feel you buddy. I was forced to surrender my dog due to my apartment complex requiring him to be rehomed after an event where kids misinterpreted my dogs response to them and I couldn’t get the apartment to back down and I couldn’t afford to break my contract. It tore me apart and I had to take the notice that it was done to the apartment. It broke my heart and my other dogs heart to do this.
I am that person who judged people for surrendering their pet. I always thought Of a pet As a member of the family. However, I’m at my wits end. I’ve had my rescue for almost two years and spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on training, veterinarians- both regular and veterinary behaviorists- with no success. My 5 year old pup has anxiety aggression issues and has bitten his dog walker twice, a family member, and two dogs. He’s a little guy (25lbs) so not much damage was done, but the behavior is not ok. I live in an urban area and a high rise apartment building. At home he is a love bug and smart and trainable by me. I cannot have anyone over because he becomes crazy aggressive. I have stress every time I need to take him outside. I try to walk him in the middle of the night and at off peak hours. I always carry treats. I often have to pick him up to pass by people/dogs. I May have to surrender him for his own safety and that of those in my building.
How? How do I overcome this guilt of surrending my dog?!? We’ve had her for 11 years….and then we had a baby. And she showed few signs of aggression around the baby. I couldn’t trust her. Oh my god, I am going to drawn in my own tears. It’s been 2 days since she is gone to the shelter. I just want to go and get her back. But what to do with all this baby situation and her not being nice to him. She is a big dog, lab….o just want to die. Seriously. I can’t live like that.
I need some guidance. All I have been doing is crying. And I need some desperate advice. Currently we have 3 dogs. The one is a rescue we got back in August, her name is August. And my childhood dog, scamp who is 14 years old. Scamp my 14 year old is well old. Hes well trained and set in his ways. He did great with our introduction of August who in all honesty was a mess when we got her. We were very careful and patient because she was a rescue and it took a few months or more for her to fully trust us. We fed by hand, built trust got her in classes and with a trainer. And shes great. She understand our older dogs cues and accepts them. He doesnt want to play. So when we had gone to adopt her there was another dog next to her, my fiance fell in love with him and we followed him for 9 months. He was adopted then returned, and again adopted and returned. We called the shelter together information on him because my fiance was so incredibly in love with him. We met with the shelter and had introduced the other dogs. It was going well. Then we brought him home and did the same things. Knuckles, Easing him into our home, trying to establish trust. Feeding by hand walking in a pack to build trust within our dogs. And we were doing okay. Then it seemed the more he got comfortable the more things escalated. He tried attacking the other dogs, our august and him would play and he would snap on her, and she would get scared and hide in her kennel. Then he started going after our other dog to the point of ripping hair out of him. And eventually going for his legs. He has been biting me when he gets too excited. We have tried claiming treats, melatonin, and hes on a medication he gets twice a day already. I’m shortening this down but we tried training him and hes smart and he responds and learns quick. But he is extremly reactive. We have read countless things, talked to the shelter, and found out hes supposed to be another medication (dog prozac) that they just didnt give us by accident. And they suggested we kennel him at night if we are scared for the other dogs. We tried that and he screamed all night. Hitting the kennel against the wall. That was not an option. Since all this we have been taking turns sleeping in the bedroom. One will stay out on the couch with the pittys and one with the old dog or just knuckles by himself its alternated. But we cant keep doing this. We have tried muzzle training despite having some feelings about them. And he goes insane. We’ve tried slowly introducing it to him, using peanut butter and rewards all the tricks. I cant Express how great he is when he isnt triggered. We adore him and love him with everything in our souls. I dont want to give up on him, we have never given up on any dog. I keep telling myself hes part of our family you dont give up on family. But I don’t know how this is going to progress. I’m heartbroken. Everyday I’m crying. Hes getting aggressive towards me to the point I cant even walk in with out him charging me and grabbing ahold of me. We are trying to do everything that it says to do with reactive/aggressive dogs and nothing is working. I’m covered in bruises, my other two dogs are in fear and my fiance and I cant sleep in the same roo. This Sunday we are supposed to be meeting with the shelter for training tips and getting the medication from them. We tried reaching out to them with our fears and concerns and was told to treat him like hes in a shelter then and keep in the kennel and just let him go out to potty. Which what kind of life is that for him? Is that seriously a suggestion? I am just hurting so much and I do not know what to do. I know everything takes time but I feel scared and in danger. I dont understand how you can love something so much and afraid at the same time. My fear is that if we have to return him that it will kill us. Literally break us. But I am trying to do right by this animal but also our other animals. Were supposed to be getting married in December and want children. I cant even begin to see that as an option worth our current situation. I’m beyond emotionally and physically drained. If you have helpful advice I could really use it. I know it’s easy to judge someone when you dont know them but I am the person that literally would do anything for anyone including sacrificing my feelings. I just need to know what to do. 🙁
I am so so sorry…I have no advice except to say maybe try talking to someone besides the shelter. It seems they do not know exactly what to do since he’s been returned twice. I am so sorry again and my heart hurts for you as I had to just do the same for my girl. I still cry at the sight of her bed we have put away or at the pictures on my phone. I love her and miss her everyday.
Bailey,
How did your situation turn out? I didn’t see any replies and I don’t have all the answers but it seems like you are doing all you can do. I don’t know if you are a religious person but sometimes you just have to surrender it up God in prayer and pray he helps you make the right decision. I am at a crossroads too and never thought I would face surrendering a dog. I tried to make all the right decisions. I had researched the breed and owned one before but the one we have now is nothing like the one we had. I know you have to judge each dog individually but this dog is super-crazy needy, very demanding, mouthy, pushy and pretty much an obnoxious brat–and nothing like the sweet mother dog I met or any other dogs of the same breed I have met. I went with the particular breed because they tend to be mellow and sweet dogs–good with cats. I have generalized anxiety disorder and some OCD tendencies so getting this dog has been an emotional and mental nightmare for me I could feel better about her if I knew she’d be better once she was full grown but she is not even a teen yet and is trying us with her stubbornness and brashness. She never seems happy no matter how much attention we give her. since she is a giant breed her puppyhood will last a long time–we are talking 2 years or more. She will be over 100 lbs and I have two small cats to think about. I’m afraid she may get physical with them when she is not pleased with something. Our last dog of the same breed was super mellow and would not dare harm our cats–he was straight from heaven– but this one–I just can’t be certain about given her temperament which is unlike all the dogs I’ve met of this breed. Anyway, I am praying on my situation and I would tell you to pray on yours. To me personally, and this is my opinion, it seems that you have done and are doing all you can. You have to think about the safety and welfare of your current dogs–esp the one that is 14–Scamp?. I think you will be more upset with yourself if Knuckles harms him or kills him and that could happen. Plus at 14 that is a long life and excuse me for saying this–he is old and could go anyday. You want his remaining years to be good ones filled with love and fun and not some wild and crazy dog that you have to fear. I would personally relinquish Knuckles for the sake of your current dogs, your future , and your sanity. I know you want the best life for him, but you want children and this is not a dog to be around your kids. There is a reason this dog was returned multiple times. Knuckles is like the baby birds that fell out the nest I always tried to feed and save. We can’t save everything and everyone–it’s a fallen world and we do the best we can and sometimes even that is not enough. You have fought the good fight. You will cry and feel sad about this maybe forever but a yes to something is a no to something else. If you keep this dog you are saying a big no to all the other good things in your life. Blessings and may God give you wisdom and grace.
I am dealing with this right now. My boyfriend and I adopted our big pup Maddie and the first three months we had her she nipped at multiple people. She is the sweetest dog to us but because of her breed and her nipping despite us taking all precautions and avoiding situations it happened, and it happened with two of my boyfriends family members. The last straw for him was his grandma. Right away he said she had to go and I was devastated. I knew deep down it was probably the right call as we want kids and our siblings will have kids and we won’t know how she will do. We finally had to call the adoption agency we got her from and they have made me feel nothing but shame. I have tried to ignore the comments but feel like I am a bad person. I am a person who is dog crazy and never in my life would have done this. It has been a rough two weeks with her gone and I can’t help but feel such guilt and sadness. We are helping pay for her boarding as I want the best care for her and hope that she finds the most perfect home because she is perfect to me.
Hi! Thank you for sharing your story. I surrendered my dogs a week ago and my heart is broken. I can’t stop thinking about it and if I should wait and try to handle the situation.
They had behavioral problems. They used to start fights inside the house and now I have a baby/toddler and the situation was dangerous and complicated.
They were brother and sister, I love them so much but I had to face So many situations and I finally have made the decision.
I haven’t told anyone about this because I don’t want to be judge and I prefer to deal with this by myself.
Thanks again!
Im so tired and depressed right now because I just had to give up my 3 months old cat to the vet i took him. He had rectal prolapse twice already and i had him stitched up for that. But the second time it happened it was okay for a few days then other complications happened. He wasnt pooping right he kept straining and because he kept doing that he bled on the third day. I then brought him to the vet but all the options they gave me were out of my reach. I then decided to surrender him to the vets which one of them agreed upon adopting him. I just hope he adjusts to them quickly even though its hard because i just visited him a while ago as im writing this and he wouldnt eat. His right arm was swollen from the iv because he kept his arm folded when he sleeps. Its still so heart breaking. I still do wanna care for him and i want to take him back but then i realized if i took him home and it happens again i wouldnt be able to help him because i dont know what to do. At least now that hes with the vets they can administer first aid whenever he needs it. Sorry this is a long comment i just needed to share my experience. It hurts so bad and i dont know if i did the right choice but i just want him to live and i know that they could help him compared to me.
Thats why i understand everyone on the comments and how we just want whats best for our pets. I also hope i did the right thing for him. Hes still just a baby and he didnt deserve every pain that he is going through right now thats why i wanted every help i could think of for him.
Came across your article after searching what happens when you surrender a dog. I had to surrender my sweet boy a few years ago. He had gotten attacked by a chocolate lab (he was chihuahua) several times, which meant several vet visits. The last time he was attacked the first vet bill was $800, took him home and cared for him the way the vet said to, but he didn’t get better. He ended up septic and pretty much rotting from the inside out. I took him back to the vet and pretty much told them we couldn’t afford to keep paying $600-800 every time we bring him. The lady suggested that I surrender him. I signed the papers and got to see him one last time, he was so scared and confused. He just looked at me with his big hazel eyes and I just lost it. I cried for so long, he was my best friend. It’s been about 5 years now and I still think about him all the time. I haven’t felt a connection like that with any other dog since we said goodbye. I’m crying as I type this right now, my heart still hurts from that.
So i recently surrendered my dog Tazz to the animal humane society and im having some of the worst emotional outburts of weeping cuz im just so sad i feel horrible. Hes a black labrador mis and he was about 4 years old and i had him since he was only weeks old. Such a cute baby. My friend had bought him n gave him to me as a gift. I was also homeless at the time in Los Angeles and downtown. I was really going through it and i even got arrested twice and the last time i ended up in prison and did a year and a month. All in all i missed like a year and 8 months out of Tazz’ life but i always managed to find him and he’d bw back with me all over. So this last time my parole transfer got approved to come to Minnesota and i brought him with me. 1 month later it turned out hes to big and he was not accustomed to living indoors and he would run away and roam the streets like he was a wild dog. It wasnt his fault he was raised in the streets but then he bit our other little french bulldog we have and thats when my mom had it and couldnt take it anymore because even tho i dont have any kids of my own Tazz was like my son but me getting out of prison and all well i have a whole life ahead that i have to build up from scratch and having Tazz really holds me back n thats beside the fact that he needed a whole lot of time and dedication and attention that i was just barely able to offer. Hes an active dog that just made me sad having to see him just sitting around waiting for me to come home and then me always yelling at him because not wveryone in the house like the fact that he was too big and got in the way and made ppl nervous because let me remind u he was a street dog. So kind of wild well in the end i just couldnt stand it, i wanted better for him n a new family might be able to offer that. Atleast now hes not homeless and or suffering out there in the streets of downtown la. I love my baby and i feel like this is the worst heartbreak I’ll ever have. I just know how to better deal with it because im matured but its like all the heartbreaks i had put together dont even come close to the heartbreak i feel now. I feel like the worst mother ever…but not so much when i think that he’ll definitely go to a better home and family.
Tazz and Ingrid=<3
Reading everyone’s stories is helping me cope with the unfortunate turn of events that happened to me and my husband this weekend.
We were given a puppy (7 weeks old) and he was perfect. He was such a mellow happy friendly pup who didn’t bark, whine, or have separation anxiety. Little did I know that my mother in law would be the reason we had to give him up just two days after we brought him home.
We unfortunately had no say as we live in her home (even though my husband pays the mortgage), but she made it very clear she didn’t want the puppy there or we would have to find another place to live.
I’m 4 months pregnant by the way, so I couldn’t afford any stress and during this time of Covid, I don’t think it would be the rational decision if we were to choose the puppy and end up on the streets after having both lost our jobs.
But all of this hit me like a ton of bricks. I was able to find our puppy a new home, that was the easy part…but saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I’m still crying over it and now I’m just left with pictures and videos from the last two days.
I’m so ashamed to even tell anyone our situation after having posted on social media that we got a puppy and I was just so damn happy. Now I’m broken.
I’ve been recently thinking about adopting a dog. But I keep getting sad remember my dog I had to surrender 7 years ago. She was a pit bull. I had her since she was so tiny. I had to bottle feed her because her mom got bit by a rattle snake and couldn’t nurse. She was my baby. She was so attached to me as I was her. She was an awesome protector. Unfortunately I was in a very abusive relationship for several years while having her and he also abused her. So she didn’t trust anybody but my family and I. I left that guy. Years later I was with someone new and I had a baby. Weirdest thing is while I was pregnant my dog had a false pregnancy too. That is how attached she was to me. Her motherly instincts kicked in because I was pregnant. She was the most sweetest and loyal dog to me. I lived in a very small no good town. I decided it wasn’t a place I wanted my son to grow up in. I looked everywhere for a place where I could bring her along. Nobody would allow it because she was a pit bull. I ended up having to get an apartment and I knew there was no way I could keep her there and it just wouldn’t be fair to her to not have a yard. I had to surrender her and it broke my heart. It’s been 7 years and I now have 2 kids and they want a dog so bad. But everytime I think about it I just think about my little Hazel girl. I’m in tears as I write this and I feel like such a horrible person knowing that I got rid of her. I often wonder if she got adopted. But I have a strong feeling she was euthanized because of how she just didn’t trust people. That kills me inside and I am hesitant on adopting a dog now because I never want to have to go through that again.
I am so glad I found this. My mom, my sisters and I have to move apartments with short notice, so I have to rehome my husky that I loved more than anything. He has been my source of comfort and motivation for a year now, so it’s extremely hard for me that this is happening. None of my friends have any space for him and the apartments available in my town all have pet restrictions on big dogs or huskies. It really, really hurts knowing I’ll have to come home from school and not see his pretty eyes or take him out for some fresh air. While my friends were all compassionate, knowing my dog was my relief from my anxiety, I went to the internet to see how he would be. I was devastated reading so many comments about how surrendering a dog is heartless and that I was an awful person. I have been crying for hours already, knowing my dog is with a family tonight to see how he is with them. We had been planning to get a smaller, more apartment friendly dog in the future, and more than likely registering that dog as my esa for college. Today, I can barely handle the thought of having any other pet besides my dog, but I know that I depend on him as much as he depended on me. I’m hoping to still, one day, get a dog that will become my life partner, but I can barely handle that I feel like a monster for knowing my dog will end up living with another family.
You can judge everyone who surrenders a pet. Life on earth is totally non subjective. It requires nutrition, oxygen, family well being… Punishment is not hardened torture like the current beasts believe(scientifically non subjective). The solution for domestic animals is non rape gestation in homes with care takers who give them to educated care takers that are on a waiting list. If this care taker can no longer care for the animal it is give to the designated god parent. If that god parent can not take the animal it is given to another care taker on the educated list of animal care takers. Beasts live a life of lies which is why they would never be called a human. Community involvement is also necessary for domesticated animals and very healthy. I hope there aren’t any animals in the beasts forest fires who claim water on earth isn’t a right…
Thank you for this article. Just today I had to surrender my beloved Milo (cat) he has crystals for the second time and is only 1.5 yrs old. He needs surgery and that is out of my reach. I had lost my job and had to take one that pays less. One of the three options was to surrender him to a rescue group and they would get him surgery need before he is damaged beyond repair. This will be a life long sentence for him now being prone to crystals. It broke my heart more than putting a fur baby down has in the past. I know I did the right thing but he was my cuddle bug. Best kitty I ever had and I have had many over my years.
It irritates me that people equate animals to people. I’m just not that kind of person. To me they’re just animals. And yes there are many good justifiable reasons to surrender or rehome your pet. I don’t think anyone should be made to feel guilty.