Banana Boats Dog Recipe
Banana?
Banana Boats Dog Recipe – A Treat Your Dog Is Guaranteed To Love
*Recipe submitted by Burt Fowler, I myself will probably skip the chanting and bacon part
Banana Boats
It’s that time of year when the mercury has risen and the sidewalks stain with the sweat of the earth. It reminds me of a similar summer oh must have been about ’84 when my dog looked a bit overheated from chasing badgers or possibly lemurs out of the yard. It occured to me that just like hugh mons, dogs are not necessarily refreshed from simple water. Just like hugh mons enjoy a cold ice cream pile or a chilled fruit salad, dogs can snack on summer treats as well. And then it hit me.
Banana Altar
Ingredients:
(2) Bananas
(3) Carrots
(4) Celery
(2) Strips of Bacon
To peel the a Banana, grasp the fruit in one hand and turn it upward. Use a long sharp knife to cut lengthwise piercing the skin but not the edible portion inside. Grasp an edge of the skin and peel away till you have exposed a long bent yellowish fruit. Slice in half.
Peel the carrots by holding a knife at an acute angle relative to the carrot and pull towards you. Rotate the carrot on the narrow axis and repeat the skinning motion. Cut lenghtwise and cut the long pieces into quarters.
Wash the celery thoroughly and cut into quarters.
Fry or bake the bacon until crisp. Do not under any circumstances pour the grease onto dogfood no matter how much the dog begs or appreciates it. The dog will lose interest in the project at this point or it may have unintended gastro-intestinal discomfort for a few days.
Arrange the bananas in a rectangular shape on a stoneware plate standing up with the cut side down. Arrange the carrots in a circle inside of the bananas and stand them up. Arrange the celery in front of all of this in regular rows. In the center of the plate heap the bacon in a double overlapping triangle shape.
0 c 0
| c c
c / / c
| c c
0 c 0
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uuuu uuuu
Before presenting the offering to the dog spirit say the following words, chant them if you are able “Dagon, Nyarlathothep, Yyeenoghu, Dagon, Nyarlathothep, Yyeenoghu…” And repeat until the dog spirit seems to be satisfied. Then lower the plate and allow the dog to eat it. If your dog is anything like mine was he/she will enjoy it till it meats its end hopefully not like mine did, by being swallowed by a massive sinkhole never to be seen again.
Photos by petsadviser.com / intrepid00
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